Far from Supermom
Updated: Jan 23, 2019
Would love to know how you stay-at-home moms are doing it. Honestly need help here. I’m still working part time until about April, but in the meantime, I’ve been using my long weekends to practice the SAHM life. I thought I’d get my house in order and have some free-time each night to catch up on projects I’ve put off. Nope. My kids are still eating processed easy-to-grab junk food, the house is a wreck, and my Christmas tree is sitting in the living room. The laundry is clean…but it’s not ironed. And I’m even more tired than at the end of a long work day. Why tho?
This is what my day looks like and it’s no exaggeration:
Cros wakes up at 7am (which means so do I), go potty, brush teeth, make our beds. Get dressed, do hair and 30 minutes have already past.
“I want cereal, no milk”
“no, we’re having eggies”
“but I don’t want eggies”
“If you eat your eggies, then you can play with your pamputer.”
I make eggies, Crosley eats some of them and sits on the couch to play with her pamputer. Blythe wakes up so I change her diaper, get her dressed (note that I do not do her hair... because she doesn’t have any), feed her eggies and notice half of Crosley’s scrambled eggs are on the floor and also smashed into her pants. I remind myself that it'll be awhile before we can have nice things.
While Blythe is eating, I make my coffee, finally. Blythe keeps signing that she wants more, so we’re on to Crosley's uneaten eggs (from her plate, not the floor). Blythe signals she’s all done and my nose signals she’s gone poopoo. Oh, and now Crosley wants a freeze-yogurt.
"Can I have a freeze-yogurt?"
“No, you didn’t finish your eggies”
“But they’re all gone” (good point)
“Blythe ate them because you didn’t want them”
“But I did want them!”
“Blythe went poopoo, play with your pamputer while I change her diaper”
Change diaper, start a load of laundry. Make a grocery list. Blythe pulls all the books off the bookshelf. Turn the volume up and dance to a Disney song, singing at the top of our lungs. Turn the volume down, and Crosley says something funny so I spend 30 minutes posting and browsing on Instagram. Crosley has to go potty “IT’S TWO POOPOOS! YOU GOTTA WIPE MY BOOTY!” Crosley wants a snack. Blythe spilled juice. Crosley wants a “more different snack, like, how about a freeze-yogurt?”
Load Cros in the car. Blythe! Poopoo again?! Change a diaper, load Blythe in the car. Go to the grocery store, Happy Meals for the girls (i.e. Cros gets another yogurt). I see something shiny and spend 20 minutes in the Valentine’s Day aisle.
Check out an hour later. Starbucks on the way home. Unload groceries. Change diaper, Mom wants a nap, girls take a nap. I sit down to eat something. Crosley’s “not wanting to take a nap”, BACK TO YOUR ROOM. I call a neighbor because I forgot to buy oregano. Call my mom to brainstorm a substitute (and to vent about something dumb that happened at the store). Start cooking.
Crosley wakes up and wants “not food, just a snack. Like freeze yogurt!” Is there heroin in Go-gurt? Also she wants “to make” with me. Option 1: I let her and we cook slower, make a bigger mess plus spread whatever germs she’s picked up from preschool. Option 2: I say no and she nags me while I lose my cool.
So we make together. Fold laundry. Blythe’s awake, change a diaper, give her a snack. Crosley wants another freeze yogurt. “No, you’ve had too many.”
I sit down to look at Instagram. One minute later: the front door jiggles, “DADDY’S HOME! DAD CAN I HAVE A FREEZE-YOGURT!?” Blake opens the door, I jump up and run to the laundry room (my one super power is flying from the living room to the laundry room with supersonic speed), I start putting the laundry away. Gotta look busy.
Where has this day gone?!
I’m exhausted, my back is starting to hurt, the dog isn't walked, the house is a mess and I haven’t done any of those fun things I was going to catch up on. I put myself in Blake’s shoes and realize that getting one load of laundry done and cooking something that’s probably not on his Keto diet looks like a pretty unproductive day.
I was aiming to be more like one of those moms that deliver a fresh baked apple pie to a friend because “oh, I just had these apples and I didn’t want them to go bad”. With perfect lattice work and cookie-cutter pastry leaves. I was going to work on an epic baby book for Blythe. Organize the closet. Conquer the French braid! I’m a long ways from all that. Like probably not going to happen in my momming days but maybe in my grandmomming days.
So Blake's home. We make dinner (mac and cheese? frozen pizza? chicken dinos? ugh), maybe go for a walk or play outside, feed the girls, bathe them and put them to bed. Prayers and a story, tuck them in so-so tight and get ready to run.
"Let's read another story"
"no, you need to go to sleep so you can get bigger"
"I have to go potty"
"I want to read a story to you and you not get away from me"
"no, it's bed time"
While running, I process the day, I beat myself up over where I wasted time, how little I got done, that time I yelled at Crosley, how I’m going to do better tomorrow. I think about something funny that happened, how I can write about it. What would I title that blog? How about Far from Supermom? Then I’m home and eating dinner at 10pm, take a bath tidy the house and my head hits the pillow around midnight.
This isn’t working. I mean no way is this sustainable and it’s obvious. I think I need more routine and more planning and more super powers. And maybe some horse blinders at the store. Calling all mom’s, how do you do this?? Comment and text me your tips and tricks to get things done because I'm afraid I might turn into psycho mom!