Every pregnancy and every delivery is different, so naturally Blythe’s was nothing like Crosley’s. I would have been happy to have that laugh-your-heart-out experience while she entered this world, but that’s not where my energy was placed. I went through the third trimester and hospital stay under so much stress and sadness that I let myself slip into a just-get-her-out-of-me mindset. Not ideal, but here it is:
May 2, 2017
29 Weeks Pregnant
Dear Blythe:
I don’t know if Blythe is your name yet, your dad hasn’t agreed, but that’s who you are to me. I don’t feel like I know you yet, and that’s my fault. I’ve been so busy with raising your sister, work, and trying to maintain my health that I haven’t stopped to get to know you. Being pregnant this time has been tough with a toddler in the house and I’ve treated it as an excuse for being tired, moody, and sick, but completely forgot about the miracle growing in my tummy that will be such a blessing for the rest of my life. I’m excited to meet you and bring you home, but I’m scared too! It’s going to be tough to have two little ones at home, and I don’t know what I’m doing! Every day I learn something new about your sister and about myself. And I still don’t know how to do hair!! I hope I can make your childhood feel special and I hope you get the attention you need from me. I hope I can be strong when you’re weak and the role model you need. Being pregnant shouldn’t be an open invitation to complain, it should be an opportunity to show strength and unconditional love. I’ve decided to start being positive and focus my attention on you. I love you sweetheart and I can’t wait to meet you and know you for the rest of my life. See you in a few months!
Love, Mom
And just a few weeks later our life got turned upside down. Divorce. My grandma’s health getting worse. And my OB/GYN, Dr Katherine Zavala, a wonderful woman who delivered Crosley and made me feel at ease, she got the devastating news that her cancer had come back. Stage 4 and metastasized to the liver. She closed her practice, effective immediately.
June 3, 2017
34 Weeks Pregnant
Dear Blythe:
Really terrible things happen in the world sometimes. Sometimes they affect us directly and other times it happens far away. We usually feel helpless, but please always trust in the Lord and seek Him first! Don’t let these terrible things make you bitter. Look for the good in everything because there’s always a lesson to be learned. And know that you will always have people that love you and want to see you succeed. Keep your head up. Be a big white horse. Keep praying. I love you.
Love, Mom
On July 17, I was two days past my due date and so tired of being pregnant. I begged my new doctor to induce me, and because of the constant Braxton Hicks I was having, he agreed. Blake and I went to the hospital at 7pm and they gave me half a pill of something that brought on labor immediately. The night nurse, a young girl fresh out of nursing school told me she took the Brawley job because it was the only one that offered her a position. Very reassuring. She then told me I wasn’t feeling contractions because I described a clinching pressure in my abdomen, but she said contractions were a “snapping feeling”. Did I mention she was young? And had no kids.
The contractions didn’t hurt, but their intensity was building, so around midnight, the nurse gave me a shot of morphine in the leg. It was super painful going in, like injecting metal into my vein, but wow. Don’t tell me the street name of that drug because it was EUPHORIC! I totally understand why dying soldiers on the battlefields would call out to their mom’s with a smile on their face. I was buzzed and giggly, and didn’t feel any pain. It was nice.
At 3am I was only dilated to 3cm (70% effacement) and disappointed that Blythe wouldn’t have the birthday 7-17-17. And also every interaction with this night nurse was a bad one. She had no sense of humor and I had no confidence she knew what she was talking about. I'm curious if I was her first patient. I wanted Crosley’s dream team back! So I prayed Blythe would stay put until the shift change when Ghetto Sonya would be clocking in.
At 4am I got an epidural, but it took different than with Crosley. This time I could feel every contraction. I could even lift one whole leg! But I didn’t feel pain, and that’s what mattered most to me, so I dosed off for a nap.
Sometime around 6am, the night nurse asked me how the epidural was. I explained to her it was different than the last time, but that as long as I didn’t feel the pain from contractions, it was ok. With all her inexperience, she took that as I wanted a new epidural, so she woke up the anesthesiologist and when he came in the room, he was not happy.
He explained that epidurals work by gravity, so if I shift, it will shift where I’m numb. Good to know. He also said that different anesthesiologists use different concoctions, so I shouldn’t expect it to be the same. That makes sense. But he said all this with a hotly attitude. He asked me if I wanted to feel nothing, which would make pushing harder and could lead to c-section. I said no, I don’t want to feel nothing. I just don’t want to be in crazy pain. Which I’m not in. Then he lectured me on how he was woken up because I was not satisfied, which wasn’t even true.
The nurse just stood there; didn’t say a word, while I felt abandoned. If he was going to be frustrated with someone, it should have been with her!
Just before he left the room, he said he couldn’t guarantee that I wouldn’t feel lots pain in delivery, so would I like a bolus shot. I felt attacked. I felt guilty for him coming to the room to do nothing. I felt pressured and didn’t know how to respond. So I agreed to it.
He pushed something into my IV, and that’s when the bad night took a nosedive.
Within seconds, I couldn’t feel anything from my collarbone to my toes. I couldn’t feel my lungs breathing. I panicked. I was crying uncontrollably and trying hard not to hyperventilate.
And it would take hours to wear off.
I never wanted to see that nurse again, and fortunately, around 7am, my mom spotted Sonya in the hallway, and she flew in like an angel. She asked the charge nurse to assign her to my room. Then she handpicked my nurse, a sweet woman named Cindy, and had a talk with the young girl, telling her she was done with me. My hero.
Sonya walked in the room and I was still sobbing. She told me to knock it off. Wipe away my tears “because Sonya is here, and were going to have a beautiful baby girl today! And it’s going to be great, and you're never going to see that nurse again, so snap out if it sister.”
My eyes probably sparkled. Blake’s too.
At 12:37pm, I was back to feeling every contraction (without pain) and I was dilated to 9.75cm. The nurse broke my water, which then triggered the immediate response that this baby was coming NOW! The nurse rushed for the doctor, which was a different one than my OB (at this point, I was done carrying about things not going my way), and it was a sprint for everyone to get suited up.
I wanted to push so bad, I could feel Blythe right there read to go, but they asked me to wait so they could get ready. I agreed. But also I secretly pushed a little. I figured they’d catch her if they had to.
With everyone suited up, I pushed through two contractions, one for the head, one for the rest of the body, and our beautiful baby Blythe Elizabeth Plourd was here. 12:51pm, July 18, 2017.
July 18, 2017
Beautiful baby Blythe Elizabeth:
You were born today and after a long hard night and slowly progressing and an uncomfortable morning, I saw your face and completely forgot about it all. We’ve gone through a lot as a family during this pregnancy and at times it made it hard to wrap our heads around a new baby. But when I saw your precious face, I felt so much love in my heart. More love than I have ever felt in one moment. This family needs to feel love right now, and we are all so thankful to have you in our lives. I will thank God every day for trusting us with you.
Love, Mom
