A few months ago I wasn’t feeling very good. Figured it was important for the family’s wellbeing that I get tested. At the doctor’s office, it was confirmed when I’d tested positive.
The next few weeks were very rough. I was fortunate to not get the worst possible symptoms, however I was extremely fatigued and nothing sounded edible to me. In fact, just the thought of food made me nauseous. A few weeks later I went back to the doctors office where they confirmed with a more thorough scan that I am in fact positive for a tiny body.
Not antibody. A tiny body.
I’ve got a tiny body inside me and it’s growing fast. And we can’t wait to meet the little one! Coming June 2021!
As of this publication, I’m 13 weeks and feeling mostly better. But here’s a crazy story:
At that second appointment, the doctor walked in and asked how I was feeling. I said I was very sick but hadn’t vomited yet. He was very surprised to hear I wasn’t in worse shape since apparently my hormone levels were through the roof! I asked what could cause them to be so high, and he nonchalantly said “well it’s usually from multiples.”
If you know me then you know that ensuring there’s only ONE in there is a top priority of mine. The idea of having twins freaks me out! No offense to mothers of twins...
So he starts looking around with the ultrasound, and as he’s zooming across the screen, I continue to see two white spots. I ask him about it. And he says “oh I’m not looking for that right now, I’m checking out the ovaries and uterus.”
Not my priority, mister.
I ask “Is there a baby in there?” “Yes, yes there’s a baby.” “Is there only one of them?” “We’ll look for that in a second.”
My heart was racing and in that moment I was feeling an even deeper hatred for Gavin Newsom, since Blake wasn’t allowed to be at this appointment with me, experiencing this shock with me. Comforting my nerves. No ones comforting my nerves!
Then he scanned over to a little peanut and said “there’s your baby right there, and this is it’s heart beat.” And my own heart skipped a beat.
“And aaaah, yep, just as I expected, there’s the other one.”
And then my heart stopped.
But only for the millisecond it took for him to follow up with: “it’s a vanishing twin.”
And then I felt............confused.
I’m not having twins. Did I miscarry? Did I lose a baby?
Will I find a ball of teeth and hair in my stomach thirty years from now?
Apparently a “vanishing twin” is not too uncommon, and actually represents a significant amount of false chromosomal readings on genetic prenatal screening tests (an obvious reason I’m opting out of that test). It’s an unviable baby, usually lost to chromosomal issues. It’s eventually absorbed by the placenta; just sort of disappears.
While I am extremely relieved to not be having twins, I am shook that at one point I was carrying two fertilized eggs (I recognize that every child is a blessing, I’m just not sure I could handle it)! I still don’t really know how to grapple with that. All I can say is that we are so so thankful to be expecting a little baby Plourd and we will love it and pray over it every day ahead of us.
But before you go, a request: if you could please join us in praying for this child. There’s a 25% chance this baby will have GSD, the genetic disease Blythe has, and we won’t know until sometime after birth. I appreciate this community we have and thank you all for your continued love and support.
Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.